Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Project 52

I am excited to announce I will be taking part in project 52. A lot of people do project 365, but I recently learned about p 52. And that is definitely more my speed. I can certainly do a photo a week. But I don't really have the time to do it every single day. And I would feel bad for not finishing p 365-so I decided to do
I now just need to come up with a theme. I think I am going to make an album at the end of the year with all the photos. I want to do something that is special to us. That we will cherish as a family.

I am also contemplating doing something like Tara Whitney did this year. Hers was called 6 people 12 times. But mine would be 5 people 12 times.

I am sooo excited for the new year!!!

Monday, December 20, 2010


We did mini-sessions in Moultrie in November. It was our first set of mini-sessions. I was a little nervous we would fall behind, but we had penty of time. All the families that participated were so great. They were all very sweet and fun. We had a great time. While we were waiting on our first appointment we decided to take some shots of our kids.

New Year. New Beginnings.

Well, our time in Florida is coming to an end. Along with the year. We will be moving back to Georgia New Year's. We had been talking about it, and a rental came up that really caught us. Especially because in a year we will have the option to buy.

We have a lot planned for our photography business. I am a little cautious calliing it a business, but I suppose in a month or two it will officially be a business. We are changing our pricing structure. We will be (possibly) getting a custom logo. We will be getting a website and blog. We will be purchasing new equipment. And so much more! I can't wait to get it all out there. It's very exciting!

I will be transferring to MTC to become an LPN. Then I will bridge over to become an RN. It will take me less time to do it this way, plus I can go ahead and start working sooner. And I will get to do it with a good friend of mine, which will help a lot!!

I am so ready for 2011!

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

It's times like these....

...that I wish I had a credit card. But I do not have one. And therefore I must wait until I have the funds to purchase a new camera!! Ours is on the fritz!! And i really don't want to try to get it repaired because 1)we can't afford that, and 2)we have been wanting/needing a new one. It just really sucks. We planned on getting an upgrade in Feb (when we get our income tax return). But atleast we still had the Rebel until then. BUT now it looks like we will have nothing. Or sometimes we will have nothing. I don't know what it wrong with the camera--the shutter button doesn't work half the time. And the focus isn't working half the time either (which I guess is the lense--but it's a kit lense-so I don't really care). It has gotten us by this far.

We have several mini-sessions this weekend. So we will be renting.

This really makes me sad--because it means we have to put things on hold again. But maybe it is for the best. I have school to concentrate on.

I am not sure which camera we will get. I want a full frame--but that will have to come a lot later. Almost $3,000 is certainly not happening anytime soon. But I do know we will be getting the Canon 50mm 1.4. I have heard a lot about the 40D--which is hard to come by. So until I can get my hands on a 5D Mark II-I think that 40D will be good. But who knows.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

I've been thinking alot lately....

about EVERYTHING!! I know some people think that money is bad, or it can not bring happiness. Well, I agree money itself will not make a person truly happy.

But money helps one stay a little happier. Less stressed.

I often say I wish I were rich. While that would be nice--I don't really care about being rich. I just want to have no worries about paying bills and still have extra to splurge sometimes. take family vacations, own a home, etc.

I am currently in school to be an RN. While this is not my dream career--it will help us stay financially afloat. And then Justin (with my help) will be able to start our photography business (for real).

I still wonder if we should continue to get our name out there. It costs a good deal of money to start a business. And maintain it. And I want to make sure that this will be a successful one.

I want my children to have memories of family trips. I want to go to the mountains, and amusement parks, and so much more.

I could go on and on...but I have a million things to do.

Friday, November 12, 2010

Little Wrinkled Feet

Emily loves to take a bath. And often to stop a tantrum in it's tracks I suggest she take a bath. She swims in my tub and plays and splashes. For those next 30 minutes she is as content as can be. (and it allows me to get a few minutes of peace)

She will call out to me that she is done--and I fetch her a towel. But lastnight when I came back with a towel for her she was laying down in the water with her feet propped up in the side of the tub. It was a perfect capture--and I quickly ran to grab my camera. Of course when I came back she was sitting up. So I asked her to lay back down and do it again. She did (which is rare).

I love her little wrinkled feet.

Images I am Thankful For

The older we get the faster it seems life passes us by. I remember being in elementary school and thinking I'd never get through to the next year. But now every year feels like it goes by faster than the previous. This makes me want to hold onto memories even more. And for me the best way is with photographs.

I started out loving photography for it's artistic aspects. I still do, but it has evolved into something more. I want to capture moments. I want my photos to tell a story. I want them to raise memories from the dead. And while we can't literally stop time-a photograph seems to allow us to in a sense.

I wanted to share some images that make me smile and will for years and years to come. When my children are grown I want to have many memories--and for when my mind fails me I will have photographs to bring them back to the surface.

These (obviously) are just a few. It was very difficult to choose. I have soo many that bring back memories.

These 3 are of Emily playing. I was sitting at the computer and she would come up to me needing the lipgloss opened, wanting to wear Brenna's bra, and wanting to take my picture.

We recently found out my dad has cancer. And this was taken at my niece's first bday party. When my dad got there he wanted hugs. Trent is quite shy, but daddy pulled him in and loved him. I quickly took a picture. This melts my heart and brings tears to my eyes.

When we first got Lola. She was free. And she was the cutest and most cuddly little ball of fur.

I took the kids outside to play and thought I'd snap some photos. I wanted to get atleast one of all three of them looking and smiling. haha. Brenna had the idea of looking sad. So she told them to all make a sad face. As you can see she is the only one that did it. But it was soo funny. As soon as she said that I started laughing.

On the same day we went out to run around--Trent had his great idea of putting sticks between his fingers to be wolverine (fromthe X-Men). This is so Trent!

Brenna at my dad's. My stepmom has a home daycare-so they have lots of toys and playhouses in a fenced in area of their yard. The kids loved it. They hadn't really met my dad and stepmom much before. But they took right to them.

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

I should be studying....

BUT my mind won't concentrate on all these A&P terms. AAHHHHH!!! I have a test tonight. darn you procrastination!!

Studying has never been a strong suit of mine. Probably because I have never had to study. Never! For real. And yes i did very well in school. But I guess after three children this ADD is really kicking in--and kicking my butt. I have always had a rough time concentrating when reading something I found to be boring, but I was able to force my mind into liking it for a little while. Now--oh, now it is different story. I have MANY distractions. And I can't tune any of them out.

SO you see...this is why I am on my blog instead of reading about the nervous systems and muscles. Yes! I waited until the last minute. Yes! I feel terrible about that. And I always have every intention of doign things the "right" way. But my ADD gets the best of me. (--Just so you all do know--I DO NOT KNOW IF I IN FACT DO HAVE ADD!!!)

I guess I should get back to these quizzes before Emily wakes up.

Friday, November 5, 2010

Emily's 2nd Birthday-Revisited

We try to make our children's birthdays a big deal around here (who doesn't, right?). We have never had the funds to go all out, but regardless our children know they are loved and they are grateful for everything the receive.
When a birthday doesn't fall on the weekend, then we have a cake and sing happy birthday just the 5 of us at home. (And then we will have a party on the weekend.)But this is our opportunity to have a family "party". And celebrate one of our own.

I have been looking at old photos lately. And editing some of them to my liking. I came across photos from our family birthday celebration for Emily turning 2. It brought back great memories. And just look at the love.

Hill Art & Photography

I created a new blog for Hill Art & Photography. The one on Tumblr was just not working out to my liking. I won't be completely satisfied until I have a website (with a blog) that is completely customized. but until then this will have to do.
Here is the link.

Monday, November 1, 2010

Loaded Weekend (for us)

So this weekend was overflowed. The kids had a lot of fun, which always makes us have more fun.
Friday night we prepared ourselves for the next 2 fun-packed days. I cleaned the apartment (except for Trent's room and my bedroom).
Saturday morning we slowly crept out of bed and reluctantly got ready for the day. Or maybe it was just myself. The were all in costumes, and i brought a change of clothes for all three (I knew it would get hot). We finally made it out and headed downtown to the festivities. Um...can I just say it was not all that great! But the kids really enjoyed it, and that's all that matters. Right?
We came home with lunch and ate. The kids were supposed to take a nap, but that did not happen (I was very disappointed-but I wanted to go to sleep). Later that afternoon-we got cotumes on again. Although, this time Brenna had no wig and wore leggings instead of her tights. Trent had a short-sleeved shirt on. And Emily had a short-sleeved leotard on. It had cooled off from the noon sun, but I wanted them to be comfortable. We made it to publix just in time. They made their way around the entire store, stopping to hold out their buckets at every department. Then we headed to a church. A church that I went to when I lived here a million years ago. That has trunk-o-treat. And then we walked over to the jump houses. Um...yeah. That was a no way! A million kids crammed in there, while no adults supervised. I think not! The kids got their faces painted instead (we spent about 20 minutes standing in line). Then we came back home.

Somewhere in that night we got movies. I am pretty sure it was at the end-after the face painting. Yeah, it was. Because I remember Emily was asleep when we got to Blockbuster, and I carried her around the store. Then when we got home, of course she was wide open. And didn't go back to sleep until about midnight. Think it was all the sugar?

Sunday I had good intentions. But they didn't pan out like I hoped. We went to Publix (again), but this time it was for groceries. When we got home we made lunch and then the kids were sent to their beds. I was determined a nap would happen (atleast for them). Emily finally knocked out a few hours later around 5. I figured it would be ok because I'd wake her at 6 to go to a fall festival. Well, about 5:30 I laid down in Brenna's bed, and didn't wake until 7:30. So we missed the festival, and I was afraid it might be too late to go trick-or-treating since we would still have to get ready.

I felt bad for the kids, who acted like they were too tired to even care. So all was well. And the house is back in complete disaster mode again. I will be busy today for sure.

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Thoughts of a Mother

Like most moms, I often wonder if I am parenting right. Am I going to screw up my kids beyond repair? Am I setting good examples? Am I raising our children to be the people I imagine them as adults? Will they be independent adults? Will they show sympathy to those less fortunate? I could go on forever.

Parenting three children is rather difficult. I find myself rethinking so much lately. I am trying different techniques, and get frustrated when it doesn't work out. I know part of the problem, which I am learning to deal with, is that I want instant results. And that is not always going to happen with a 2 and 3 year old. Not even with a 6 year old. I guess no one is perect and we all struggle.

I did get some reassurance the other day in the car. We were on our way home, and Brenna tells me "Do you know what I was just thinking?" i replied "No. What were you thinking?"

She then tells me she want to be better. Ok. I was really confused by this statement. And frankly it scared me. My first thought was that we were going to have to start dealing with self-esteem. And we have yet to trample onto that ground, because brenna is very self assured. But then she continued...

She said she wants to do better and finish all her work in class (she has been struggling with this because she likes to help all the other students on her group with their work, and she gets bored, and she likes to socialize). She also said she wants to listen to us better. And she said she wants keep her room clean.

I was in shock. I couldn't believe that she was even thinking about those things. I was so proud. My little 6 year old was maturing and thinking responsibly. My bright child. Maybe we are doing something right. :)

Sunday, October 17, 2010

Life with a Toddler

Cleaning up messes like this has become part of my daily routine, and I very much daydream of days when I no longer have to worry with this sort of headache. Do you even know how uneasy it is to clean up spaghetti?

Brenna was such an easy child, and still is. I never really grasped the idea of a hyper and extremely free-willed toddler, until now. Trent was very "go with the flow". But Emily is a totally different story. She colored all over herself with a green marker one night. And I didn't even know until she came to me to "go potty", because she was supposed to be in bed. And just because it is washable, does not mean it comes off easily.

I often fail to come up with ways of parenting her. I have no clue how to reach inside and get her to listen. And I find myself wishing her toddler years away. But then I remember she has moments of sweetness and tenderness. And I sometimes have to remind myself she will only be little once, and I have to endure the bad and ejoy the good.

And she is my last child. No more babies for us. Although I secretly wish for just one more (another boy).

Monday, October 11, 2010

Just like Daddy

I know I have neglected this blog for some time now--But in my defense I have been moving, without the internet (still am), and taking on life.

I am realizing one thing--that my children's annoying habit of aggravating eachother might just be hereditary. YES! I think it is a predisposition that may not be helped. Or it may just be learned from their father. Either way, I think the culprit is their daddy.

Now Brenna doesn't care to annoy others. But Trent and Emily find some (actually lots of) joy in other's misery. Mainly Emily does things to aggravate Trent, while Trent does things to aggravate Brenna (maybe this is just a younger to older sibling rivalry we are dealing with here).

Lastight Emily was laying beside Justin on the couch (while watching a movie). This is something that happens almost never. She rarely wants to have anything to do with him. So of course he was loving it. But then (and he knows how moody she can get) he starts picking at her. I mean, come on! She was sitting so quiet and content, but he couldn't resist apparently. I even warned him, but he proceeded anyway. And once was not enough-he continued until she had enough and moved away.

Then I started thinking--Trent and Emily both aggravate their older siblings like their happiness depends on it. And maybe it is something that Justin has given them, whether biologically or through example. Whatever the reason--I think I am giving up on trying to stop it all the time. (Although, if you have ever heard Trent's whine you might see why I hate for Emily to annoy him. And I feel sorry for Brenna when she gets it from Trent, because I remember being just like her when I was little and my younger sister constantly did things just to get o my nerves--I guess it's an attention thing.)

--And by the way, we all get it from Justin. haha.

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Moving Day

Moving day is coming soon. It may actually be sooner than we thought. And they got us a 2nd floor apartment. So glad for that!! And Saturday we are going to look at the place we will be living. Our original move in date was set for October 1, but it looks like we might be moving in Sept 25. A week sooner.

I can not wait to be finished with school. I feel like we are in this limbo for now. Waiting for life to really begin. Even though I know our life is happening right now.

Monday, August 30, 2010

Homework and Fighting Children

I completed my first essay for my writing class this morning and typed it up and got it turned in on time. A class that I foolish must take because I foolish forgot to take the Regent's tests. So now I am stuck taking a reading class and a writing class. Classes I would not have to take had I taken the test becaue I would have passes the test. Oh well. We live. We learn.

This morning Trent adn Emily have been bickering aimlessly over everything. It is such an annoying sound. It almost interfered with me getting my assignment turned in on time. Luckily I was able to calm the waters to give me just enough time to finish typing and submit my work.

Afterwards was a little different story. They fought more over cars being stolen and blankets being captured. Emily like to aggravate Trent because she knows she will get such a dramatic performance from him. Unfortunately for me bathroom time never means quiet or alone time. (Emily is pretty much attached at the hip). The fight was brought into the bathroom, as I sit helplessly on the toilet. Thank goodness I have been working with Trent on not tackling Emily to the floor everytime she takes his toys. I was able to keep Trent somewhat calm and I got the car from Emily. I asked Trent if there was something she could play with, and he gives me this look like "I know, I know." haha. I have also been trying to get him to give her something in return of his toy. So maybe she won't steal it back.

For the most part my days are a little easier with Brenna and Keegan in school. But now Emily needs entertaining. Before she followed the three older kids around.

Well naptime calls and I think it is time for me to get a little shut eye too.

Thursday, August 26, 2010

First Grade, New Places, New Beginnings, Old and New friends

Brenna started first grade this week, and at our top school choice. YAY!! She has a first year teacher, which has made the transition into a new school easier. Brenna is a very resilient little girl though. She handles change very well.

This move has been good and a little difficult. Trent has probably had the hardest time with the change. He just wants his own room with his own bed and his own toys. I can't blame him. Living with another family is very hard and trying sometimes. I love my sister and her family, but I like my own space.

We move into our apartment in a month though. So it is coming on quickly. We have been here at my sisters for almost 2 months now. And at one point I really thought I was going to lose it. Mainly because I never got a break from all 5 kids. But as it is getting closer to our move-in date it is getting easier.

I have been seeing a lot of people I went to school with when I lived here years ago. That is really neat. And how cool is it that my best friend from when I lived here lives in the same apartment complex as my sister. It feels good to be a little familiar with things even though this is a new place for our family.

We have been very blessed to have Brad get Justin this job, and for Ashley and Brad to allow us to live in their home with them. I know it has to be hard on them too at time. I mean we practically live in their living room. I try to keep it cleaned up. And I hope they know that I do appreciate it!

I am in my 3rd semester at darton, but it is my first semester towards my RN degree. I will transfer to school here next semester (and apply for the nursing program--and hopefully I get in and that will start next fall and be for two years).

I hate neglecting my blog--but it is hard to get on whenever I want. plus, now that school has started I use the computer time I get to work on school. Things will be better when I get moved. I have a few things planned for this blog. I can't wait. And I have left my camera in GA, so no pictures for the blog for a little bit either. Sorry.

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

I'm 27!!!

I will post birthday pics soon. They are on my computer (which is in GA-and is no longer connected to the internet).
We are moving to Florida. Atleast until I finish school. We have been driving back adn forth on the weekends for the past few weeks. Since I am watching Ashleys kids I have to be here during the week when she works.

Brenna will be 6 Monday. Not sure what we are going to do for her birthday as of yet. I wanted to take her to Disney for her party/present. But it might be too hot and too expensive. I will have to see.

Looking for schools here is not easy. The school I want we will have to live in a certian area for Brenna to attend. So we are working on that. We are getting Trent's speech tested in Sept. If he qualifies then he can go to a 3 yr old pre-k at another school, then Brenna will go there. I don't know. We will figure it out.

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Taking it Slow Doesn't Exist in our Vocabulary

Yeah. Everytime I say we are going to take is slow and be "smart" about moving this time. And everytime it feels things get rushed. In our defense this time it was kinda out of our hands the way things have moved.

My sister and brother-in-law offered to pay me to watch there two children when Ashley (my sister) works. She is a nurse and only works three days a week. She wanted somewhere that charged a daily rate, bc she didn't want to pay for when they were not being cared for by the daycare. Then my name got brought up, and well yeah.

Of course Justin was all for it, because well rent is alot more here and he isn't making as much as he made before he got laid off. So the money I will make from babysitting will supplement.

Now we stand in a sort of limbo. Staying here in my sister's small apartment during the weekdays and then driving back to GA for the weekends. Back and forth. Still paying all of our same bills up there while we need to be saving to get a place of our own.

When Ashley has off we have been driving around checking out some of the schools. We both have a favorite. And it is teh same school-luckily. But unluckily we have to live in a certain area, which we do not-and we will not have time to get there by the time school starts, So I have my second choice ready.

I got registered for the fall at my school I have been attending. And that makes me feel great! I will be transferring to the same school my sister attended in the spring. And hopefully I will get accepted into the nursing program, so I can start in the fall of next year.

I guess it all works out pretty well, I have my part time job that doesn't take me away from my children. And still gives me a lot of "free time". And I can still drop off and pick up my children at school. ANd I will be doing the same for Ashley.
It seems to all be working out. It just scares me that we are jumping into something. Although our life was needing a big change. ANd so far even though I feel a little scared at times, it all feels great.

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Fiji Water

is growing on me. The first sip I was quite disappointed. Not like it wasn't good, just I was expecting it to be amazing. haha. But the more I drink the more I like. Not to mention the bottles are too cool.

I have also been reading on their sites. And I must say I am very impressed. Water untouched my man and the air. And reducing their carbon footprint. There is so much more..go to for more info and for links to even more info. :)

Thursday, July 8, 2010

I'm in Florida

We came with Justin this week. This was his first week, we weren't doing anything, and I'd get to see my family here. I think it was really good for Justin that we came. We might even stay next week too.

Justin's mom is watching our kitten, so that is good. I do miss our little Lola. We left the house in total disarray. A disaster. It was last minute that I decided to come with Justin. So there wasn't time to clean, and we were rushing like crazy.

We went and got a few things from Publix yesterday. It was so nice to be in a nice grocery store that had so much more to offer (lots of organic, etc). That may sound strnage to some, but in Moultrie there isn't a publix. When we lived in Orland, that is where we grocery shopped. I missed it. haha. The things that make us smile when our priorities change. ha.

Ashley wants to go to the beach Saturday. I am not sure yet. I did bring the kids' swimsuits, but not mine or Justin's. So we will have to see.

Saturday, July 3, 2010


I made a little bit of money at my yard sale this morning. And it was cool most of the time I was out there, so that was nice. We needed this bad!!! Justin leaves Tuesday for Fl to work. SO there we need to get a new tire on the car, maybe an oil change, and it is time to renew the tag. Money, money, money makes the world go round. Unfortunately, the world continues even when you have nothing.

Thursday, July 1, 2010

Quilting Anyone?

I love quilts. They are pretty, fun, creative, colorful, and so comfortable. Brenna and Emily both have quilts for their bedding. Now, poor little Trent still hasn't gotten any bedding. He does have sheets and his Disney Cars pillowcase and comforter (that fits a toddler bed).

Along with curtains, I want to sew Trent a quilt for his bed. We have had a hard time finding bedding we really like (that doesn't cost a fortune). That is the main reason I want to sew the kids' curtains for their rooms. I have yet to find anything I really like, and they are soo expensive. We spent $25 per panel for our living room curtains. Even though we had the money at the time, it was almost torture to hand over that money. Call me cheap, I don't care.

I constantly find things that I like, but I always think I could make that myself. But then where is the time for it? That is why my children do not have curtains to dress their windows. But one day I swear they will (haha).

I think I should first make Trent a quilt, so his room looks a little more put together. And he should have bedding that fits his bed (yes, the sheets do fit). Here are a few fabric combos I am liking (I am just wanting to so do a striped quilt). I know I could have found more and more bc I am not really positive what i am looking for as of yet. (All fabric was found on etsy.)

Did you read that right?

Well, today I called my school and changed my major. It as a little scary, but felt good. I felt like it was right. But I still can not help but wonder if it is indeed the right decision. It all seems like this is the best choice to make for us, but only time will tell.

I changed my major to.....Nursing. Yes. I will be an RN. My sister recently graduated and is now an RN. I never thought I could do this job, but I am hoping I can. She seems to think I can, and she knows me better than anyone.

I figured I will finish in the same amount of time it will take me to finish my other degree (that I have already given a year), plus I should have an easier to finding a job. Let's face it, the teaching field is getting a little scary. And I will make more money. These all seem like very valid and great points.

In the end, Justin and I still want to have a successful photography business. But of course we all start somewhere, and this will also be a backup. We will continue to work on making our dream a reality, even though now it might take a little longer (but that is bc of possible moving adventures in the near and distant future). More on that later.

Wednesday, June 30, 2010


I frequent many blogs. And etsy shops. I love finding inspiration from others creativity. And lets face it--the internet has a vast world of creation out there. I recently searched jewelry on etsy and I came across this awesome necklace... most people do (I am sure)I clicked on it and then looked around the store. And I found several other pieces I LOVED! I love vintage and vintage looks.

The pieces are very reasonably priced. Unfortunately I have no money flow right now, but maybe some of this stuff will still be available when I do.

You can also look at her other store here. And read her blog here.

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Daydream Believer....

I'm a dreamer. Always have been. What can I say? But unfortunately I have little time and money to invest upon these many dreams. Nonetheless--that does not make them any less important to me. I still hold on to all the things I dream of and I know one day the time and money will come to my rescue and set them free. Until then here is a list:

1. Sew the kids some clothes
2. Sew some stuffed animals/toys
3. Paint 100 paintings
4. Put art up around the house
5. Sew curtains for kids' rooms
6. Exercise 4 times a week
7. Start an organic garden
8. Recycle
9. Make weekly or monthly menu
10. Save coupons
11. Buy mostly organic/hormone free foods
12. Order organic snacks and candy from Amazon
13. Sell used clothes on Ebay weekly
14. Donate stuff to goodwill
15. Update personal blog atleast twice a week.
16. Reach my goal weight of 130 lbs
17. Tummy tuck/breast aug and lift
18. Create an inspiration book
19. Sew a quilt
20. Buy a water filter pitcher to save money and waste
21. Make my own jewelry again
22. Sew some of my own clothes
23. Visit Savannah
24. Take kids to beach yearly
25. Take kids to Disney
26. Go to live comedy show
27. Have date night with Justin atleast once a month
28. Make a recipe book
29. Write a book
30. Visit Canada

I am sooo sure I can add more to this list, but I need to get going. I have a 2 year old hanging on my arm.

Monday, June 28, 2010

Party Planning

We had Emily's 2nd birthday party this past weekend. It was so pretty on the deck with the canopy of lights. But there was an absence of a lot of invited guests. Which makes me wonder if I should start rethinking my invitation lists (I mean if you haven't come to a party 3 times in a row--what does that mean). And if you are not going to make it, why not call? Anyways...the few people that did attend-thank you. I had a fun time planning this party--but wish I would have had more funds to do everything I wanted.

Life-Altering decisions

SCARE me!! It freaks me out knowing that my decisions affect other people that are the most important to me. I don't want to screw anything up and make their lives anything less than awesome.
So far Justin and I have done a pretty good job of keeping out heads above water, especially in our short time of gaining three little lives to look after. Of course we want much beeter for our children (and for ourselves), so decisions must be made. And these things are not easily come by. I scares me to think I might make the wrong choice, and then our future will be much less than awesome.

I have never been a good decision maker anyways. Especially with BIg ones--like the decision I am faced with now--What to major in--What will my career be?

Well, as I have mentioned before on here-Our main goal and dream is to open a photography studio. And we will of course continue to work toward that goal, but in the meantime we have a family to worry about. We have bills to pay and children to clothe and feed. So when I say career choices-I am thinkning in the back of my head "fall-back career".

I thought I knew what I wanted to do--teach. But with the economy so strung out and schools losing more and more funding, and jobs getting harder to come by--I am really starting to rethink my decision. Luckily I only have a year of schooling behind me. i am thinking that possibly I could go to school to be an RN.
Yes--A nurse. When I was little I wanted to be a doctor (among other things which also included teacher) so maybe this isn't completely pulled out of the air?

I really shouldn't care where I pulled it from I guess. I just want somethign that I will enjoy and still have time to spend with my children. And I want something that will provide a good income for my family. And that I will more easily find a job.

I think I have it all figured out, but it still makes me wonder. My sister just finished school to be an RN-and she will ehlp me a lot. So, I think this is it. And I feel good about it.

Friday, June 18, 2010

First comes..what?..

Being young, married and having three children is no easy feat. No one tells you that there are tons of other young married couples with children (and maybe even without) that are in the same boat. You are all fighting to keep it above water.

I am coming to the realization that Justin and I will more than likely be married for many years to come. We have come a long way in our five years of marriage. And I am so happy for this. There were time I thought we'd never make it, that we were bound to end up divorced. But we both stuck it out and made it to where we are now.

We still have out days and moments where we want to pinch (and sometimes maybe even punch) the other, but behind all the madness we still know we love eachther. It is hard though. It takes a lot from both sides. And marriage itself is work, but when you add children to the mix you enter a whole new realm of obstacles to hurdle.

Regardless, I love my family and I thank God for each and every one of them every night. This is my life and I am happy.

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

The party is ON

I am excited. I finally figured out what to do for Emily's 2nd birthday party. And I am thrilled. haha. We are doing it on a Friday evening. I figured since it will be so hot out, we should do it when the sun is starting to set in an effort to not die of a heat stroke. I have a lot of ideas, and I am about to go look online for more and for places and things to get/make. I have the invitations ready too! Now I need to get a few addresses and mail them out. Hopefully I will get this party rolling.

Monday, June 14, 2010


As my children sit on the couch watching television, I can feel my heart slowing to a normal pace. I need to feel that I am not alone in this parenting business. But it scares me to think I will always be. It angers me that he is still laying, eyes closed, all snug, in our bed. Sure he was awake later than I, but only for his enjoyment.

The stress begins to wear me down, and I can feel it tugging at my chest. My mind all contorted and strangled. I really know the living definition of overwhelmed.

Cleaning messes is part of the game. But there is something about the consistency of one half doing all the work. No wonder she is always angry mouthed with no smiles or laughter. It has been drained. But she longs to have a constant smile stretched across her face. Breathing would be easier. Mind would feel clearer.

Monday, June 7, 2010

Party Plans

I am always so behind on planning parties, actually behind on most everything. It is past due for me to get the ball rolling on Emily's 2nd birthday party. I have been pondering what we will do to celebrate her turning two years old. I think we will have an ice-cream party here at the house. I have several ideas on decorations. How I just need to get on it and make them. I need to get invitations filled out and sent off also. But I guess we should decide on a date and time. This is such a crazy month for birthdays. We have several other birthday parties to attend this year. AAHh! It stresses me to just think about it.

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

It's been 2 years....

I can not believe my baby is turning 2 this month. In two weeks to be exact. WOW!! Time flies. Which having two other children, I am no stranger to how fast the little babes grow. But oh my! She is my last little one. No more babies. No more babies to nurse.

I am looking forward to no more diapers. And having a tad more freedom from the constant dependency. But it still saddens my heart to know that I can no longer have another child, even if I wanted. But that was a choice I chose. I felt it was more important to be here with all my health with the three children I already have, instead of risking my health to potentially have another child. It was an easy decision, but that doesn't mean I do not get the urge to grow another baby and nurse that baby, and watch he/she grow.

But just as fast as these feeling come they flow out faster. I am reminded that I indeed have my hands very full already. And that I am so close to my three loves having a little more independence. Now granted, Emily has a ton of independence, but it is not warranted. She is scavenger. This child rarely asks for help, and when she does it is because she has already tried on her own. Now do not misread our parenting in this. This is just how the child is wired I guess. I would much rather her come to me with everything, and I never have to worry about what in the world she is getting into. There would be far less messes around here to interrupt the day.

Emily is a very smart (almost) 2 year old. She talks better than Trent in some cases. She loves to color (on her furniture and self mostly). She is quite stubborn (which is a household dilemma). She is so tiny for all the spunk she carries. She adores her sister and brother (mostly). She is very funny, and knows this.

I could not believe it when I found out I was pregnant with Emily. And I was a little scared (since I had placenta abruptio with Trent). But I am so happy to have her in our lives. She totally completes our family.