Sunday, May 30, 2010

Back to the Everyday

My sister left today after lunch. It felt strange this time around. I felt like she was taking a piece of me with her. I was even sad to see my brother-in-law leaving.

I guess I can really tell I need a change in my life. I need people here that I feel safe enough to let into my world. That doesn't happen often. I am a pretty closed off person. Consider yourself one awesome being if I allow you even a look into this world of mine.

It has always been very difficult for me to let myself get very close to someone. And in relationships I have usually tried to push the other person away if I felt I was letting my guard down. I guess it's my defenses taking over-damage control. I don't want to get hurt. So I force the other person out in order to not get too close.

This was somewhat problematic with my marriage. But I think I am a little more mature now and luckily I have a husband who really does love me-so he puts up with it. ha. I have gotten a lot better about being scared with Justin. But I think I will always be very wary when it comes to being true friends with someone.

I pretty much stick the the surface. And with only a few people will I go deeper.

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Time for Maintenance

Cleaning around here gets put off and delayed. And then when cleaning actually does get done, it is time for a good cleaning within a few hours following. It is so stressful and not to mention very annoying!! Because I think I have mentioned before that I HATE TO CLEAN!!

Well, my sister will be in town Thursday night for the weekend. So it is time to get out my real cleaning gloves, and make this house presentable. (She loves to clean-maybe I should leave it all for her. haha.)

I miss her soo much. She just finished school to be an RN. I am very proud of her for that accomplishment. We are a lot alike, and also have a lot of differences. But she is my best friend. And I think we share more similarities than not. I wish she would move here, I am in need of her companionship often. And a phone call never suffices.

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

30 Days in Rotation

I am putting together 30-day meal menu. I will also be putting together shopping lists to accomodate these meals. The plan is to have breakfast, lunch, dinner, and 2 snacks for each day (for 30 days). I want to try to get 30 seperate breakfasts, lunches and dinners. I will have a variety of snacks-but I am not too worried about having 60 different snack options. I want them to all be somewhat healthy.

I am really excited about it. So far I am seeing it is a lot of work, but well worth it. I want to eat healthy, but I am soo picky, so it is easier to fall. I think once I have a menu plan in action things will be so much easier to stick with. And although I am very picky (like hardly any veggies) I am still placing different things in the menu. Just because I don't like it, doesn't mean the rest of the family shouldn't eat it. And who knows, maybe after a while I will try some squash and like it.

Art & Photography

I blogged about Justin and I wanting to eventually have our own photography business. Well, I started a blog for Hill Art & Photography. And you can see it here.

Monday, May 24, 2010

Inspiration, Where have You Gone??

I have always been one whom draws inspiration from beautiful and inspired people and places and things (ha--I guess that would be inspirational noun). I need to be where I can just flow with the moment. I have always been a dreamer-and since I have children, there is very little time for following dreams. Oh, how I wish I had a studio. Music inspires my moods. And my children inspire me everyday.

But I had no space to create. I have no time to create--unless I want to stop a thousand times in one session.

I am telling myself to make it happen. I am going to make a list of all the things I want to do. And scratch them off one by one-whether small or big. I think it is important do do for yourself still, even after children. It helps you hold onto the person you are/were. I lost her after Brenna. But Brenna was worth it (as are the other sweets in my life).

But I feel that in order to keep that love and like feeling in your relationship-that person needs to still be there somewhere. And I am slowly pulling her to the surface. Of course, I have grown tremendously, and am not going to be the exact replica, but a better version.

A big sense of who I am still remains, and I had been trying to figure out who that was. Luckily I think I am now on a new journey of discovering my future.

I am very happy. There are things that frustrate me, but overall I am a happy person. And that makes me even more happy. I owe part of the to discover me again. To realizing (and remembering) I am not only a mother or wife, but I am also an individual.

Friday, May 14, 2010

Surrond Yourself with Good

As I have gotten older, I have realized I do not need people in my life that will bring me down. That I do have some great friends. And there is no need, or want, of fillers in my life. I am so blessed to have certain people in my life, and surrounding me.

I am a perfectionist, so everything I do-I always feel is not quite good enough. But I am still proud of the things I create, because most of the time I surprise myself. I come close to what I want the end result to be, so I am filled with positivity.
I have never been made to feel like someone with no talent, until recently. That is an awful feeling.

I think it is best to keep your head up, and stay persistant in your art. Whatever that may be. Love life, and the people in it. Don't discourage others, lift them up, and give encouragement.

Sunday, May 9, 2010

That's what Dreams are made of

I wouldn't have wanted to spend today any other way. We grilled at Reed Bingham Park today. It was such a beautiful day out, and I am soo glad we decided to get out and have a family afternoon. The kids loved it, and so did Justin and I. It was quite crowded, but we managed to find an area out of the way with a grill. We really need to do things like that more often.

Senses Overload

I am soo very blessed to have three amazing children. I never wanted more than one child, but I got three. I never wanted children before the age of 27, but I had three at 24. And all the other plans I had were thrown out the window. But I wouldn't have it any other way.

Happy Mother's Day!

Saturday, May 8, 2010

Where to Begin

Jumping head first into a business is scary stuff. Luckliy we have yet to take the full plunge. We are dipping our toes in first. ha.

Plus, financially we are not in a position to run with this right now. AS much as it would be awesome to drop everything and dive in, it just is not smart for us at this moment. I think we will probably be easing our way in for a while.

We still have a lot more to learn about photography and business. I am excited I will be taking a digital photography class and business class this summer (among more cores).

Need to take some shots of the kids ths weekend.

Thursday, May 6, 2010

Sunday, May 2, 2010


I have found myself feeling torn between two worlds. The world of "reality" and the world of art. I am desperately trying to maintain both, but that is not how my brain works freely. I need to concentrate on one or the other.
Luckily, this summer I get to engage in all the art I desire. That is all I will be doing (besides taking care of my family and school work). I can not wait. I am soo excited. It will be a lot easier to be inspired when I am engulfed with creativity. I will finally get this huge canvas painted. I will finally get these commissioned paintings finished. I will finally get to work on what I want. And that means being able to get a little more creative with my photography.
One of the classes I am taking this summer is digital photography (and another is business). I am so happy that I decided to do a double major and incorporate my art degree into my life.
There are soo many things I want to do for my future, but I suppose they will all happen with time.