Monday, May 24, 2010

Inspiration, Where have You Gone??

I have always been one whom draws inspiration from beautiful and inspired people and places and things (ha--I guess that would be inspirational noun). I need to be where I can just flow with the moment. I have always been a dreamer-and since I have children, there is very little time for following dreams. Oh, how I wish I had a studio. Music inspires my moods. And my children inspire me everyday.

But I had no space to create. I have no time to create--unless I want to stop a thousand times in one session.

I am telling myself to make it happen. I am going to make a list of all the things I want to do. And scratch them off one by one-whether small or big. I think it is important do do for yourself still, even after children. It helps you hold onto the person you are/were. I lost her after Brenna. But Brenna was worth it (as are the other sweets in my life).

But I feel that in order to keep that love and like feeling in your relationship-that person needs to still be there somewhere. And I am slowly pulling her to the surface. Of course, I have grown tremendously, and am not going to be the exact replica, but a better version.

A big sense of who I am still remains, and I had been trying to figure out who that was. Luckily I think I am now on a new journey of discovering my future.

I am very happy. There are things that frustrate me, but overall I am a happy person. And that makes me even more happy. I owe part of the to discover me again. To realizing (and remembering) I am not only a mother or wife, but I am also an individual.

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