Sunday, June 28, 2009

Plans=waste of time

These are the people who make up my existence. Everything I do and will do is because of them. Everything I want to do, they are in the back of my head. I have to make their lives better with each decision. And that is a heavy load. Let me tell you. I love these little sweets more than I ever thought I could love another.

Life is so different when you have kids. Besides the overwhelming larger bills piling up on the kitchen counter, there is the utter joy from just looking at their smiling faces. And the strong need to fulfill those little hearts with happiness. To instill morals and values. Taking care of another life is a lot of hard work.

Lately I have been thinking how easy (in comparison) things would be with only one child. And it would be tremendously easier. Bills would be lots smaller. Babysitters would be a ton easier to come by. I could list numerous differences, but I am not going to. I don't have one child anymore, I have three. Three whole precious lives to look after at the young age of 25.

This was not my plan. Not even by a longshot. I was not going to have my first child until I was 27 or 28. Well, I sure got dealt an entirely different deck. Because nothing I had planned came together. And honestly, I am perfectly content with that.

I am finally piecing myself back together, and this is helping me be a better mother. I am finding the things I used to enjoy and I am realizing that I really like me. Which I think I always have, but just forgot about myself for a couple years now. But I strongly believe in order to be a great mother you have to be a great you. You can't put yourself on the backburner all the time.

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