Sunday, June 28, 2009

Growing Up

When you have a baby your whole life changes, and for almost every new mother it is natural to just "grow up" in those few seconds it takes to look into your child's eyes. For the guy, it is a whole different story.

Justin was great. During pregnancy all I remember is constantly being upset with him, but I am sure some of that was hormones. But he took on the role of being a father to Brenna so easily. But the "growing up" process has taken quite a bit longer.

Really sometimes I wonder if men ever really grow up. Or do they hold on so tight to that teenager?

We were watching "16 and pregnant" this afternoon. And that is what got me thinking about all of this. It's a scary thing to carry a life inside of you and have no idea how you are going to take care of that tiny dependent person once they are on the outside.

I was devastated when I found out I was pregnant (the first time). How could this have happened to me? I thought. And then all I could think about was I haven't even finished college. This was not my plan. And a million other reasons I was not ready for parenthood screamed inside my head.
It wasn't until Brenna had been inside of me for about 19 weeks that I started to feel something for her. This being that was an alien to me. But the longer I carried her, I felt like she was becoming a part of me.

Brenna was the beginning a whole different life for me (and for Justin). And even though this is not the life we expected to have. It is a pretty great one. We have three amazingly beautiful, smart, talented children. There is a reason for it all. And I am content knowing that God wanted these perfect creatures in our lives.

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